Amendment 1 101

Two things that may surprise you to know:
1.) I am not a resident of the state of North Carolina.
2.) I am not a homosexual.

So why am I about to write my first blog in 8 months about Amendment 101? Because even though I have about as much interest in this issue as I do dipping my balls in battery acid, I suppose really don't want to be the only person who hasn't expressed an opinion about something that probably will never affect them in any meaningful way.

It started on Facebook
My first exposure to "Amendment One" came when a friend of mine (who thankfully is at a minimum a North Carolina resident) shared this on their Facebook wall:

Like all good propaganda pieces, it does a fantastic job of framing the question on its own terms and ignoring its own hypocrisy (Really, you're going to speak about people's rights but reach a possible conclusion that someone is not entitled to the most basic right of them all? Just shows to go ya!)

Like all matters geared towards stirring up the simple minded; I gave it all the thought and consideration I could muster before returning to something far more important to me, playing NCAA Football on my X-box or double-fisting Doritos Tacos and Mountain Dew. With classes finishing up and final exams underway, I really didn't give it a second thought until yesterday.


OMGZ DA PEEPLES OF NC R TEH STOOPIDS + HATEFUL! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE SO MEAN AND DUM! :(

This obviously is something of an oversimplification, but after reading it all day long (mostly from people who I KNOW are not residents of North Carolina and I'm fairly certain are not homosexual), that's eventually how it started to come across.

Now full of frustration and outrage; I decided that I should go find out what everyone has their panties in a wad about. After trekking through the blogosphere; I finally found this on ballotpedia:

North Carolina Same-Sex Marriage, Amendment 1

From this page, it conveniently has the ballot language actual North Carolina voters saw and the text proposed to be added to the N.C. State Constitution:

Ballot Language: Constitutional amendment to provide that marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.

So North Carolina is not going to recognize any other domestic unions? Only a man and a woman? Not a man and a piano? Not a woman and a lava lamp (which actually sounds kind of hot when I put words to paper about it)?  Man and woman only. Gotcha. Notice that this ballot does not say that all other "don't call it a marriage" is a sin, an abomination and that all homosexuals are condemned to a life of hellfire, it says that other unions are not legally recognized in the state of North Carolina...(we'll come back to this, so pay attention.)

Constitutional Language: Sec. 6. Marriage
Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts.

Okay, so we repeat the ballot language. Then we get into . . . you've got to be shitting me! Contract law? Everyone has got their assholes puckered up over fucking contract law! Where's the outrage over THAT little nugget; that this oh so sacred institution of two separate entities coming together to form one is basically boiled down to a business transaction.

And therein lies the rub. The simple fact of the matter is that North Carolina doesn't want the logistical headache of implementing all the special cases that come with "legally recognizing" a legal marriage. Traditional marriage is nice, simple, clean. Easy to give them a small simple tax break for buying a house and spitting out a couple of kids. When you open up the door that says "marriage" can now be between any two consenting adults, well that just makes it a gigantic quagmire of bureaucracy.

In other words: It's not an issue of morality, it's an issue of paperwork, nothing more, nothing less!

And while we're on the subject:

Love and Marriage, Goes Together Like Two Sole-Proprietorships in a Domestic Merger.
When did we get this idea that for a marriage to be considered valid, it had to be recognized by anybody but God and the two entities within that marriage? Isn't one of the great love stories of our time "True Romance" based upon a marriage of two people swearing their love for one another before God on a bridge with nobody else around for miles in any direction? Clearly they have no concern over whether their marriage is "legally recognized by the state" or not (as they have so much respect for laws and authority in that film anyway), yet their marriage is a perfectly happy one. Why? Because they love each other and have compatible life structure, that's all that is needed to make "marriage" work.

But for reasons that other people have committed to paper in much better ways in other venues; this most basic private arrangement has become an extremely social issue. Suddenly because I'm (legally) married, I'm entitled to a better tax rate, I'm entitled to cheaper benefits. My private life has social consequences. At the end of the day; THIS is why people are pissed off. 

You're Here, You're Queer, I Don't Give Two Shits!
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it" - Agent K "Men in Black"

Here's my problem with most homosexual issues; (Read as "I really want to do this, but I can't because I am GAY") they are based in the premise that being a homosexual is their sole identifying characteristic and it trumps all over aspect of life. For example:

"I want to serve in the military, but I can't because I'm GAY"
"I want to get (legally) married, but I can't because I'm GAY"
"My life partner and I want to move to North Carolina but we can't because we're GAY"

Let me be perfectly clear on this; homosexuality is NOT a lifestyle choice; because as my homosexual friends tell me early and often, if I could choose to be gay, I could do very well for myself. However, letting your homosexuality be your sole social identifier that trumps all others IS a lifestyle choice.

This is an economics blog, economics is all about trade-offs and choices. Which is more important to you:

- Being openly gay, or serving in the military? Choose one (not necessary anymore, but still)
- Being gay and living with a compatible partner or doing so and getting "marriage" benefits?
- Doing the above, and living in North Carolina/any other state that doesn't recognize non-traditional marriage.

Life is about choices, whether straight, gay, or asexual, nobody can have it all.

Fair? Who's the Fucking Nihilist Here? What Are You a Bunch of Fucking Crybabies?
Ask any 4 year old if life is "fair" and they should tell you without hesitation the answer because their parent will tell them early and often that it isn't. For example, I know that there will be more than a couple of people who will label me as ignorant (despite showing and citing my research above), stupid (yes, I have a 3.05 GPA with almost 200 undergraduate level credit hours at a major university, I'm clearly a moron), homophobe (I'm not afraid of homosexuality, I'm indifferent towards it) based solely on the worlds I've written in this piece. Is that fair? Probably not. Does it matter to me? Not even a little bit. Fortunately for me, I'm not alone.

As I've said before; this blog is NOT about ideology, it's about data. Fortunately, one other piece of information my friends at ballotpedia provided was the voting results on Amendment 1. See below:

Amendment 1
Result		Votes	Percentage
a Yes		1,303,952	61.05%
No		831,788	38.95%

 As you can see, the people who voted, chose overwhelmingly in favor of the issue. However; what about the people who DIDN'T vote?

1,303,952 + 831,788= 2,135,740. According to Google, the population of the state of North Carolina (as of 2011 data) is 9,656,401. When we adjust our results for this data, the results are even more revealing. as apparently 7,520,661 citizens of the great state of North Carolina decided that they didn't care one way or the other about this issue.

Are they all ignorant, stupid, homophobes and/or religious zealots? Hell, is it even conceivable that all of them are STRAIGHT? Seven and a half million people and not a single homosexual? It seems statistically unlikely* Why this matter is of grave importance, so much so that straight people from other states feel the need to judge and insult complete strangers through blogs and social media for allowing their populace to democratically decide the laws of their land; as granted by the 10th Amendment by the United States Constitution while 7.5 MILLION North Carolina residents decided to do something else.

But that's okay, they are all stupid hick zealot homophobes right? Must be. It couldn't be that they have better things to do than worry about what a complete stranger thinks about them or what their state or is saying about them on Facebook. Maybe...

But one thing is certain; by not voting, they clearly don't give a shit about something that certainly would affect them in . The real question is; why do you?

*- According to About.com, a conservative estimate of "alternative lifestyles (GLBT)" is about 3.8% of a given population. This means that in North Carolina, a safe estimate would be 285,786 who did not participate in the voting.